Chapter 50- Breast Reduction Part 2

This is a list of things I wish I knew before getting breast reduction surgery 7.5 weeks ago. None of these things would have changed my decision to do it, but they are things that I would have mentally prepared for if I knew about them ahead of time.

1. There will be blood. A lot of blood. When I came home from my surgery, I had two surgical drains attached to my bra. They had to be emptied twice a day and they were so gross. I knew about the drains ahead of time, but I didn't entirely realize how they worked. When I got home from my surgery I took a nap on the recliner and woke up to a large patch of blood on my bathrobe. Turns out that the post op nurse didn't put my drain up high enough and they work with gravity, so I leaked mucus-y blood everywhere. It was terrifying and I thought I was dying. My dad called the surgeon and he immediately knew what was happening and assured me that I wasn't bleeding to death. In addition to that first post op scare, I have been having some issues on my right breast since surgery. The area below the nipple where the incisions meet is struggling to heal. Every time I take off my bra, there is blood. In fact, on Monday I had a post op appointment with the doctor and I bled everywhere. I mean... everywhere. On me, on him, on the nurse, on the table, on the floor... everywhere. And this is 7 weeks post op. I was not prepared for it to continue for so long, especially since the left breast is healing so well. So now I get to wear gauze on my right size to try to protect things so it can heal. And of course this is happening when it's 70 degrees during Buffalo's fake spring, so I am sweaty and it's gross.

2. You will be emotional. Or, at least I have been. I have wanted this surgery for so long that I was relatively calm pre op. Post op is a whole other story. I think the disruption in my normal sleep patterns definitely contributed to this. I cried the first time I saw myself without the bandages and the surgical bra. I am still constantly worrying about the scars, especially with the issues surrounding the bleeding on the right side. And what about the size? Are they too big? Are they too small? I have been convinced that they were both within 12 hours of each other. Obviously it can't be both, so there is definitely some adjustment that is slowly happening. Other little things have made me weepy too. When my friends sent encouraging words and presents post op, each time I teared up a little. Three of my college roommates, two work friends and two friends from high school have seen what I've been jokingly referring to as my "tasteful post op nudes," which are just close op photos of my breasts sent for them to reassure me that I haven't mutilated myself. And if you're one of the like 3 friends I can safely see in person since I've had this done? They've seen them too. Everyone else said it's not as bad as I think it is, but the adjustment period has been longer than I assumed it would be.

3. You will be exhausted. Technically my surgeon warned me about this. I just didn't fully understand what he was saying. During nice weather I usually walk 3-4 miles a day. Yesterday I walked 2 and had to come home and take a nap. Using my brain for work related things still makes me tired. I am slowly realizing that I put my body through trauma and that takes time to heal. I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life as I have been since surgery, and I worked in the 2016 Presidential Election (5 months of 100 hour work weeks) and took the bar exam 3 times. Healing is hard work. Being patient with yourself is hard, because when the pain is mostly gone you feel like you should be back to normal. Caffeine doesn't help, it just prolongs the necessary nap by an hour or two. I have had to come to terms with the fact that napping doesn't make me lazy or weak- I am doing the best thing I can to help my body heal.

Again, none of these things would have changed my mind, but they have been difficult to deal with.