Chapter 47: One Year Anniversary

Hi, everyone. Just wanted to make a quick little note to apologize for being MIA lately. I work in politics and it's election season so something had to give.... and it was this blog. I'll be back to more regular postings after we defeat Trump.

Today is the one year anniversary of my excision surgery and I wanted to take a minute to reflect.

Before my surgery I was in near constant pain. Ovulation and my periods were unbearable. I knew in my heart that I had endometriosis, but I struggled to a find a doctor that would take it seriously and do anything to help me. It should not be that difficut to find a doctor to understand that I had pain ibuprofen wouldn't touch, but it proved to be nearly impossible to find a doctor who listened. Around my 30th birthday I decided enough was enough. I was going to find a doctor who listened and get surgery to diagnose and remove the endo I knew I had. I made an appointment with Dr. Ghomi, the only endo specialist in Buffalo. After talking with him for about 15 minutes, I finally had someone who believed me.

I was so nervous about surgery. I had never been under general anesthesia before. I am allergic to a lot of medicine so I was convinced that I was going to die. I was petrified. I even emailed my friend a very specific list of last wishes at 2 am the night before my surgery. My funeral was going to be ... different. Luckily, surgery went well and and I didn't have any complications. I remember waking up from surgery and asking the nurse how long I was in the OR, knowing that if it had been over an hour that meant he found something. I cannot fully explain the relief I felt when she told me they found endo! I wasn't crazy! My pain was real and not in my head! I didn't have an abnormally low pain tolerance. Actually, quite the opposite. Endometriosis is so painful that it's one of the conditions that can qualify you for medical marijuana in New York. The UK's National Health Services included it in the list of top 10 most painful conditions! So, I wasn't a weekling afterall- I am a badass for surviving this for 17 years without a diagnosis!

In the past year I've relearned to listen to my body and trust my instincts. This is something I'm still working on. Turns out that being told nothing's wrong when you're in pain for almost two decades does physical and psychological damage. I'm better at not doubting myself and I'm proud of how far I've come.

My quality of life has improved tremendously. Bad pain days aren't nearly as frequent or as intense as they were before surgery. And now that I know I'm not allergic to the drugs used in general anesthesia, I have a consult for breast reduction surgery scheduled for Monday. I am no longer sitting by and tolerating a lower quality of life than I deserve. I'm hoping that if my insurance approves this surgery the remainder of my back pain will be gone, too.

Even though I am terrified that eventually my endo will return and I'll need more surgery, I am grateful for where I am now. I wanted to end this blog by thanking everyone in my life for their support and love. I'm the luckiest to have you all!