Chapter 20: The Pain

The United Kingdom's National Health Service (NHS) released a list of the 20 most painful health conditions. Endometriosis is on the list, along with migraines, kidney stones, arthritis, cluster headaches, shingles and many other infamously painful and well researched conditions.

This made me think. If I called into work saying that I was too ill to come in because of a migraine or shingles, almost any employer I've had would know what those are, realize how much pain I was in and accept it. But if a person with endometriosis blames a work or school absence on menstrual cramps or other pain due to endometriosis, that pain is often not taken as seriously. As I spent a majority of my life to this point in school, I thought about all of the times endometriosis made my job as a student more difficult.

I got my first period in 7th grade. I had cramps almost immediately. Between middle school, high school, undergrad, and law school I've missed a lot of class time due to killer cramps and heavy periods. By killer cramps, I mean cramps that make me vomit from the pain. Cramps that are only sort of controlled by heating pads, hot baths, and copious amounts of ibuprofen. I've gone to class scared that I'd bleed through ultra heavy pads and not be allowed to go to the bathroom. These are classic endometriosis symptoms that are not often taken seriously, especially in teenage girls. I had many teachers see the reason I was absent from school (my mom was a teacher and was always honest on my notes) accuse me of making it up, roll their eyes or tell me to get over it since it will happen once a month for a long time.

This is so damaging for so many reasons. First of all, it taught me that what I was dealing with was normal, and enforced a belief that I was just too weak to handle something that everyone who menstruates deals with. It discouraged me from advocating for my health for way too long. Second, how much was I really learning when I was siting through AP Chemistry scared that I'd bleed through a pad and be humiliated in front of my classmates? There's still such a stigma around menstruation being dirty that having a bleed through is traumatic to anyone, but especially teenagers who are still adjusting to their changing bodies.

The last thing that really affected my schooling during my period was tests and exams. I took several of my high school regents exams, AP exams and 2 New York State bar exams on my period. During closely monitored testing situations like these, you have to ask permission to use the bathroom. During the bar exam, the only things you're able to bring in to the testing room is whatever fits in a clear plastic ziplock, which means all of your fellow students know you're menstruating. While it doesn't bother me (I write about my period for all to see on the Internet), some classmates weren't a fan of this policy. When I'm bleeding heavily, the bathroom trips take awhile. I don't get that time back, despite having a chronic disease that is known to be very painful. I basically just had to suck it up, which is not fair. There are accommodations for people with other types of disabilities (ADHD, visual and hearing impairments, etc.), but once a period is mentioned, any pain is completely dismissed as normal and common.

What can be done about this? I think the more often people with endo are open and honest about how much pain they're in, the more we can educate those around us to end the double standard.