Chapter 2: "Some women just have bad periods. Deal with it."

As I alluded to yesterday, I'm going to be extremely open and honest about my symptoms. That includes things that some people might think are TMI. However, I believe that the only way to combat the stigma around menstrual health and women's health in general is to be open and honest about it. Why hide it? It's a natural part of life and we shouldn't be ashamed about it. I remember in middle school being taught to hide pads in pockets or sleeves when going to the bathroom. There will be none of that here. Menstrual health is nothing to be ashamed about and talking openly about it will hopefully help people realize when something is wrong. So, with that being said, let's talk about my period.

I got my first period when I was 12. I had just gone on a trail ride with my cousin and I thought I broke my vagina on the horse. Public school sex ed isn't great, y'all. And despite my mom being a science teacher, she was too awkward to broach the subject with me initially. Anyway, I remember calling for my mom for help and my dad came up the stairs. I looked at him and screamed, "get mom!" So like many things in my life, it was a very dramatic occasion.

I remember our limited sex ed told us that periods didn't hurt. I had cramps the FIRST night of my FIRST ever period. I remember telling my mom and she looked at me in horror. She had extremely bad periods too, getting her first one when she was 9. My mom had all of the classic symptoms of endometriosis, but was never diagnosed before she passed away from amyloidosis in 2010. According to this study, endometriosis does have a genetic factor. Looking back, I think she realized that I had symptoms like hers and she was worried for me.

My periods were so bad and so frequent (7 days long every 21 days), that I went on the birth control pill when I was 15. It helped with the duration and frequency, but not really with the cramps. I still missed a lot of school, which brings me to my first issue. My primary care doctor at the time blamed these symptoms on stress. This is the first of many times this would happen. Not to sound cocky, but I'm pretty smart. I was in accelerated classes in school and didn't find most to be that difficult (with some math and science exceptions). I did extra-curricular activities but nothing really challenged me that much. It certainly wasn't anything I was anxious or losing sleep over.

By this point I probably had also developed generalized anxiety issues that I still deal with today (however, now that I realize that they are an issue, I have found pharmaceutical and lifestyle ways to manage them). There are connections between anxiety and periods, but again, I was generally fine and the especially bad periods never seemed to pop up when I wasn't fine.

When I was 18, my new primary care doctor (who is still my doctor and I love her) insisted that I have my first pap even though I wasn't sexually active yet. She figured that I had enough issues with my period that she needed to take a look. I almost passed out. It was excruciating. Paps and pelvic exams still continue to cause me more pain than my friends seem to have (I know pain in subjective, but I don't think I'm that much of a wimp).

Moving on to college, things were pretty well controlled until my seemingly health mother had a massive stroke the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college. She spent the entire summer in the hospital and in rehab, only to die the follow April of amyloidosis. My periods when she was in the hospital initially were nightmares, but I was also switching between birth control pills at the time. They evened out after the new pill kicked in. However, when she was in hospice care, they were fine. They were fine when she died. I was 20 and very close with my mom, who I was not emotionally or mentally prepared to lose at such a young age. I would imagine if stress related periods were to pop up, then would have been an opportune time.

After undergrad, I attended law school, which is basically three years of hell. My periods were relatively controlled until my third year, when I was diagnosed with a chronic hives condition. My entire body, head to toe, in my mouth, literally everywhere, was covered in hives. Doctors initially dismissed this as stress too. I was in and out of the ER, on shitloads of steroids and anti histamines (which make you so tired, I don't remember taking some of my finals. Seriously). Finally, my allergist and my acupuncturist recommended that I go off the pill. I did and the hives stopped almost immediately. Turns out I also have a chronic hive condition related to hormones. So fun.

Studying for the bar exam (three times) was stressful. Failing the bar exam (twice) was heartbreaking. My periods were horrible then, but I was also off of the pill for the first time in 10 years. They were long and frequent, like they were when I was 14. However, I was so scared of turning into a giant walking hive again that I didn't go back on the pill. I turned to acupuncture to help, which it did, but it's also expensive and often not covered by insurance. Strangely enough, in the 8 months I worked for Hillary Clinton's presidential election, my periods were mostly fine. I was very stressed out, but I was also energized by doing work that I truly believed in. (a brief aside, I love her so much)

Last summer I bled for 20 days straight, had 4 days off, and then bled for another 20. Something was clearly wrong. I was fine on the stress front. An extremely painful vaginal ultrasound came back normal. When I saw the MD at my OBGYN's office (up until this point I was seeing the PA), he said, "some women just have bad periods. Deal with it." I was shocked. I cried the whole way home. The only thing he offered me to help was the IUD. I didn't think I could stand the insertion process and I definitely didn't trust him to do it. That's when I started researching other options, with the help of my primary care doctor.

And here we are today, 5 days out from surgery with a local endometriosis specialist, Dr. Ali Ghomi. More about my consult with him on the next post. I know this has been really long, but I had a lot of medical history to get through and I am very old so it took awhile. I figured that this would be a good foundation to build the rest of my blogs on.